I read this quote by author Rita Mae Brown earlier.
“Trust your instincts. And never hope more than you work.”
I like this. The goals which I had for my writing and my life have changed between January and now. That makes sense. It has almost been a full 12 months since I made the goals. I’m a different person with different thoughts and feelings now. Some of my thoughts are still the same. I want to make an impact with my writing. I want to encourage people, entertain them, uplift them. Words that tear people down are not a part of my vocabulary.
But, how to do that? That is the part which has changed. I’m putting a lot of thought into this question. Every writer has their own way of doing things, has their own things they like to write. Some of them have been published while others have not been. What I need to do is trust my own instincts, do the kinds of writing that will fulfill my goals. By doing it this way, I will find my own voice faster and reach more people than if I were to try and follow a trend.
Have a great day!
If you are familiar with this blog, you know I have posted several times about the miscarriage I had over two years ago, and that I am also a supporter of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month in October. With two years having passed, I thought I had conquered the negative emotions which I experienced when I first had the miscarriage. I have no such luck. 😦
This past weekend was my birthday, and my husband and sons always do their best to make sure I have a special day. And I did. From helping with the Santa Pancake Breakfast at our church in the morning to going to an author signing in the afternoon to going to dinner and having my party that night, all of my day was very special.
At least it was until the end. I received a call from family members wanting to wish me a happy birthday. I didn’t hear the phone ring the first time so I called them back. At the end of the conversation, I was told a piece of news that bowled me over. My sister-in-law was pregnant. I wasn’t expecting to hear that they were going to have any more children so this has brought out a lot of feelings I’m not proud of, the primary one of which is jealousy. It made no sense. I thought I had gotten to the point where I could support others through their losses, but not experience the knife to the heart which I experienced in the first months after my miscarriage when I saw babies in my daily life. If my baby had lived, she (I’m pretty sure it was a girl although it was an early loss.) would be a toddler now–running around and getting into her brothers’ stuff. Like I’ve said before, I would have been an older, but hopefully wiser mother.
It wasn’t to be though. So, how do I get through these feelings? Since the miscarriage, I’ve come back to faith so my first idea was to pray about it. I’ve been talking to God and asking Him to bring me to a point where I’m not jealous and where I can actually be happy for my sister-in-law. Has it happened yet? No. I’ve also tried to forget about it and focus on other things. Has that worked? Nope, that doesn’t work either. And after I went through all of my other ideas, I came back to prayer. The first words I heard at the back of my mind were: “Acknowledge your feelings.” I asked God what that meant. Wasn’t I supposed to get rid of negative emotions so I could serve Him better? He explained that emotions could be negative as well as positive and that I needed to acknowledge the negative ones before I could pray for the positive ones. With that being said, I am admitting it here. I am jealous that my sister-in-law is having a baby, and I wasn’t able to. Has admitting it helped? Not yet, but I will continue to work on that emotion and the others which were stirred up by that phone call.
Have a great evening!
I can’t take total credit for the title today. Someone on my Facebook list is doing this with her children this month and is posting about what they’re doing each day. I think it’s a fantastic idea. Doing something for someone who doesn’t normally expect it. Isn’t that what Christmas is supposed to be about? So far, they have chosen an Angel Tree child, taken coffee to their bus drivers, and written notes of encouragement to people who are hurting. I’m going to develop my own list today and get started with my own kids. What about you?
Have a great day!!!
So, I am back after a one month break. It was a good break as I was able to reflect on why I write, why I enjoy putting words together. And I paid attention to the people and things around me for my inspiration. Did I get all the things done I wanted to get done? Well, no, but isn’t it usually how that works when you take a vacation?
Anyway, we are into December now which is always a very special month in our family. Between now and the first part of January, three of us have birthdays. That makes the holiday season very busy as we try and make sure each birthday person has a special day between all of the celebrations for Christmas.
But, Christmas actually celebrates a birthday too. It celebrates the birthday of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I could go into the history of how the holiday came about, but that’s not what I want to do today. In an earlier paragraph, I said that my family tried to make the birthdays this month special for each person when it was their day. What do we actually do though when we celebrate Christmas? We buy presents for each other and for ourselves. We get into fights in such places as Wal-Mart or Target or Best Buy to get the particular item we want at a bargain price. Is that what we have turned into as a society? I could almost understand this type of behavior from people who don’t claim Christianity. But, there are those who are Christians who do the exact same thing. I think it is sad.
It is not all sad though. There are many people I know and many people I don’t know who don’t make the season of Christmas about themselves. They have the spirit of giving which is how I believe Christ would want us to celebrate His birthday. He would want us to think about others and not ourselves. He would want us to consider our relationship with Him if we claim him as Savior. These are all things I’m going to do this year as I celebrate the Advent season with my family. This year has been such a year of renewal in my own life–with bad times and good times. The one thing I know for sure though is whose I am. I am God’s daughter, and He is my Lord and Savior! I wish all of you a joyful Christmas season!
Hope everyone has a great day!