I saw this quote by author Julia Alvarez in my writing inspiration book, and it touched me enough that I want to expound upon it some more. First, here’s the quote.
“Bless you, my daughter. I know how much your writing matters. The sweetness of both those statements, so rarely put together! Daughter and writer. Part of la familia and also my own person, that full and impossible combination! Isn’t that what we all want–to put it all together and become that bigger version of our selves and still be loved by those who have only partially known us?”
I think anyone can look at a statement like this and have it resonate with them. It certainly does with me. For a long time, I wanted to be accepted by my family for who I was, not for who they wanted me to be. But, what about the people who are just too different from their families for their families to accept them. People get locked into certain kinds of behavior or certain characteristics they expect to see from their children. This might be from what career path the child goes down, to behavior they expect from their sons or daughters, to the kind of person their child marries, to the way the child raises their children, and to the beliefs the child ascribes to. Most of the time, the backgrounds are similar enough that there’s not much of a problem.
But, sometimes parents cannot accept who their child has become because the differences are too great. The child might put up shields for a long time in order not to have arguments when they are in contact with their parents, or they just might pretend to be someone they’re not. There’s a point though where it becomes too painful to be in two parts, and you have to show the person you are in its entirety. If the family can’t accept it, then the relationship becomes superficial, or there’s no relationship at all. While that might end up being necessary, it’s still very sad. I think it is more important though not to be in two parts.
Hope everyone has a great day!