I’m doing a lot reflecting today. My boys and I have finished homeschooling for the 2011-12 school year, and our family’s lives have changed tremendously since September. When we started, we had just come to our new town because my husband had been offered a job after being unemployed for almost a year. Since we had only been given a week’s notice to drive across the country, we moved into a corporate apartment and started school while trying to get used to a brand-new town where we knew no one except for one homeschooling friend who I had met over the Internet. Some of our early adventures included: going to the library and applying for library cards, going to homeschool events, throwing the baseball on the large grassy field which was next to where the mailboxes were, and walking to the mall which we were living right behind. We were happy for the new adventure, but sad times came the following month when I miscarried before even knowing that I was pregnant. I detailed the happenings of that day in my first post for this blog, but needless to say, we were all thrown into a talespin. I knew though that I had to keep going for my boys. We were finally able to move into our current apartment in December, and that was a wonderful birthday and Christmas present. It is very peaceful here, and I know that helped a lot with the healing. The other thing that helped me was beginning to participate in our local writing club. Finding people that were just as interested in writing as I was was a great motivator as the days passed, and I felt myself growing stronger and healing.
This naturally segues into the fourth day of Jeff Goins’ challenge. He challenged us to practice our writing in public, and one of the things he suggested was to share something we’ve never shared before. That is what I’m going to do now. One of the things I’ve always struggled with is not standing up to or being direct with certain people in my life. Because of this struggle, I made the decision not to say anything about my miscarriage to those people because I didn’t feel strong enough to hear comments such as, “It was for the best.” or “You really shouldn’t have another child.” I also didn’t feel strong enough to be direct and shut down the comments when I felt they were inappropriate so I just didn’t do anything. Now though, I feel differently. I am stronger for what I’ve been through. I know I’ve changed because of things I’ve done in the past few weeks that I would have never done before which include going to a sci-fi/fantasy/comic book festival and being an active participant in the wrtiers’ panels. I have come out of my shell in a major way, and my sense of self-confidence has grown to an amazing level. I look forward to the future now—as a writer, a wife, a mother, and a homeschool teacher.
Until next time, be real!!!!!